Monday, October 3, 2011

Before I was a Mom...

Guest Post by Bert

Before I was a mom I vowed that I would never allow my children out of the house with mismatched clothes and no shoes. I promised that I would always make sure that their hair looked good and not like they had just rolled out of bed (or were in need of a bath). Before I was a mom I claimed that my children’s faces would always be clean when we were out in public and that I would never let crusty boogers or runny noses go unkempt.

Before I was a mom I looked at other mothers with their screaming toddler in the aisle of Target and said to myself, I would never let my child behave that way. I said, before I became a mother, that I would always leave a public place if my child was misbehaving or making a scene so that I wouldn’t disturb others. I vowed that I would never become THAT mother with the screaming, misbehaving children in tow.

Oh foolish vanity! To think before I had any inkling what it would be like to care for and be responsible for the well being of another human life that I would do it better than those who had gone before me. I stand here as a mother who has taken her child out in public with mismatched clothes, crazy dirty hair (because her son went through a stage of being fearful of washing his hair), and dried up boogers clearly in view because her son wouldn’t let her clean his nose! I am a mother who has had to chase her child through the patio dining area of a restaurant, pick him up like a sack of potatoes and say to him, “Just wait until we get home,” because she didn’t want to cause any more of a scene than what was already playing out. And I am a mother who has had to finish her grocery shopping with a kicking and screaming toddler simply because she had no other option but to buy food then and now.

Going forward I promise to give a sympathetic look to the other mothers I see with kicking and screaming children. I vow to smile and giggle with the mother of a booger faced toddler and then point to my toddler, shrug and say, “Him too!” I will support you and encourage you on your rough day because I have been there. I promise to not judge you because I know that the best behavior isn’t always displayed in public but that doesn’t mean you are doing a terrible parenting job. Maybe if you join me in support and encouraging other moms like us we can all feel a little less pressure to be perfect.

Elizabeth (aka Bert) Anderson married her college sweetheart in 2005, and started her journey into motherhood in 2008 with the birth of her son.  She started blogging in 2009 as a way to keep track of her thoughts on being a first time mom, especially her struggle with postpartum depression, and as a way of reaching out to other moms who are struggling with the same things.  This July, Bert had another first in her motherhood travels - a little girl!  Even though she's newly a mother of two, Bert maintains that no matter how many children you have you will always be a "first time mom" because there's a first time for everything!  Visit her blog, at FTM. Bert is a contributor for She Thinks Media.


Katherine said...

Applause to that. Sometimes we just have to do the best job possible. It might not look pretty, but in the end you still love those ugger little buggers with all your heart. And THAT is what counts most.

Anonymous said...

So true; I could have wrote this myself. ;)

Selina said...

Great post! Thank you!

WhitBoff said...

LOVE THIS! L-O-V-E Thank you!

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