Blessingway or Baby Shower? It doesn't always have to be about the gifts.

The decision to have a baby shower can be difficult, especially if you've already had a baby and a shower before.  Sometimes friends and family care enough to ask if you'd like one and sometimes they don't care, they're throwing you a party whether you like it or not.  True, telling someone you do want a shower can be awkward and you might feel funny creating a registry, but rest assured, these women are most likely living vicariously through you and want nothing more than a great excuse to go out and shop for cute baby items.

But what if you have most of what you need?  This is where your best friend, sister, mother, or in-laws come in.  They should make it their priority to make sure guests know what you need or do not need.  Registries can make you a little uneasy but they do work.  Send a message by registering for just a few things you need.  If they're big ticket items then guests might get the picture and buy you a giftcard or give you cash.

Registering for cloth diapers?  Many online retailers have gift registries and you could either print out a small tag or write in the card that you've decided to use cloth.  At the very least this would let friends and family know that you do NOT want disposable diapers.

Don't want a shower at all? Traditional showers can seem like they're all about gifts and silly games, but truth is, I think each baby deserves a party to honor their mother and their upcoming arrival.

Consider a Blessingway!  A Blessingway is similar to a shower but focuses more around honoring the mother-to-be and lending her support and encouragement, and truly celebrating the upcoming birth.  Ideas might include...

• Making a nursing or labor necklace for her to wear.  Each guest could bring select beads or stones and then at the Blessingway you could make the necklace together as a group.
• Have a special journal made and allow guests to write words of encouragement, advice or their favorite quotes for the expecting mother to read.
• Sew a baby book or blanket.  At a recent Blessingway that I attended we each made a quilt square for the baby and then one local friend of mine took on sewing them all into a nice soft book safe for little one to play with.  We also all signed the inside of the fabric cover.
• Have a massage therapist there to give the mother-to-be a massage, foot rub or pedicure.
• Consider asking each guest to make a food item, craft, drawing or other unique gift.

It's important that each mom-to-be is honored and that her wishes are upheld.  Don't feel forced into the baby shower option if you really don't want one or feel it's not your style.  Tell friends and family about the idea of a Blessingway, ideally you wouldn't have to tell them...lol

What are your thoughts?  Do you feel a party or shower is appropriate for each birth or just the first?  What are your tips?