Reader Contributed Article by Amanda Metro
Step by Step Instructions on How to Change a Wiggle Worm's Diaper!
Somewhere along the line, our passive, pleasant, angelic babies turn into non-stop motion-loving moving
cloth diapers. Here, I will give you step-by-step instructions for how to handle this new obstacle.
Step 1: Join your local summa-wrestling club. If you don’t have one and do not want to spring for a plane ticket, visit a local high school and ask if you can participate on their wrestling team. At the very least, they should give you some pointers.
Step 2: Gather your materials. You may need any of the following: diaper, wipes, facemask, knee and elbow pads, helmet, genital cup, steel-toed boots and a net. Oh, and toys.
Step 3: Decide which strategy works best for your child. Do you need to hide behind a wall and pounce on him as he crawls by? Should you chase her around the house and wait to make your move, finally leaping on top of her and wrestling her to the ground? Perhaps your child is initially compliant, but once on the floor or changing table, you need to physically restrain her legs in order to do the change. Sometimes switching it up can do the trick. If they never know how it’s coming, they will have a harder time resisting.
Step 4: Create a distraction. You could hire a mariachi band. You could place a large cardboard box in the center of the room baited with a cute and cuddly stuffed animal. You could open the dishwasher or the refrigerator since these objects always seem to draw attention. You could even break into a fancy Irish jig that ends with you leaping on top of your stunned child and if you’re quick enough, you can change the diaper before she notices what you’re doing.
Step 5: Change the diaper. You should probably practice by putting a diaper on your cat or dog and seeing how fast you can take it off and put on a new one. If you don’t have an animal that will cooperate, try doing it on your husband. Once you feel you are ready to tackle the child, give yourself a pep talk. Drink some water. Put on your ‘Sweatin’ to the 80’s’ headband. You can do this! Own the diaper change!
Step 6: Relax. You’ve successfully changed a challenging diaper and you deserve to kick back. Besides, you’ll probably have to do it all over again in about 5 minutes.
*Note: No mariachi bands were harmed during the writing of this post.
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